xmas songs

A few of my mates have been writing funny car related christmas carols.....this is my effort !!!

(To The Tune "Jingle Bells")

Crawlin down Main North Road, in my rusty Ford EA,
Down the road I go, backfiring all the way.
I need a set of rings. and I need a set of tyres
My car is held together with, tek screws and fencing wire !

Chorus
Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, my door just flew away.
I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-hey.
The Subframes bent, the muffler went, a rolling Pizza Tray,
Oh, what a piece of crap it is... my rusty Ford EA !!

I went to Liquorland, to get some Christmas Beer.
The front end she is shagged, it's gettin' hard to steer.
The car is belching smoke right past the friggin cops.
I do the same the Flinstone's do, to get the car to stop.

Chorus
Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just flew away.
I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-hey.
The subframes bent, the muffler went, a rolling Pizza Tray,
Oh, what a piece of crap it is... my rusty Ford EA !

Slowly goes the Ford, in a big, blue cloud of smoke.
People laugh at me ; I wonder what's the joke !
I need to get back home, And leave a note for Santa Claus
Saying All I want for christmas is: Just bring me Commodores !!!

Chorus
Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just flew away.
I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-hey.
The Subframes bent, the muffler went, a rolling Pizza Tray,
Oh, what a piece of crap it is, my rusty Ford EA !

Copyright AndyJohnson 2009

That is tops Andy love it

For those that didn't see this one from the newsletter a few years ago


On the first day of Christmas, 
Adam sent to me 
Ear damage from the VP. 

On the second day of Christmas, 
Auzzie sent to me 
Two cans of Bundy, 
Ear damage from the VP. 

On the third day of Christmas, 
Danny sent to me 
Three cars a racing, 
Two cans of Bundy, 
Ear damage from the VP. 

On the fourth day of Christmas, 
Cliffy sent to me 
Four chrome wheels, 
Three cars a racing, 
Two cans of Bundy, 
Ear damage from the VP. 

On the fifth day of Christmas, 
Bill sent to me 
Five speeding fines, 
Four chrome wheels, 
Three cars a racing, 
Two cans of Bundy, 
Ear damage from the VP

On the sixth day of Christmas, 
George sent to me 
Six cooked snags, 
Five speeding fines, 
Four chrome wheels, 
Three cars a racing, 
Two cans of Bundy, 
Ear damage from the VP. 

On the seventh day of Christmas, 
Spirit sent to me 
Seven hairs of colour, 
Six cooked snags, 
Five speeding fines, 
Four chrome wheels, 
Three cars a racing, 
Two cans of Bundy, 
Ear damage from the VP. 

On the eighth day of Christmas, 
Piracy sent to me 
Eight cylinders humming, 
Seven hairs of colour, 
Six cooked snags, 
Five speeding fines, 
Four chrome wheels, 
Three cars a racing, 
Two cans of Bundy, 
Ear damage from the VP. 

On the ninth day of Christmas, 
Pazz sent to me 
Nine neons flashing, 
Eight cylinders humming, 
Seven hairs of colour, 
Six cooked snags, 
Five speeding fines, 
Four chrome wheels, 
Three cars a racing, 
Two cans of Bundy, 
Ear damage from the VP. 

On the tenth day of Christmas, 
Millsy sent to me 
Ten cleaning products, 
Nine neons flashing, 
Eight cylinders humming, 
Seven hairs of colour, 
Six cooked snags, 
Five speeding fines, 
Four chrome wheels, 
Three cars a racing, 
Two cans of Bundy, 
Ear damage from the VP. 

On the eleventh day of Christmas, 
Sylvia sent to me 
Eleven new sponsors, 
Ten cleaning products, 
Nine neons flashing, 
Eight cylinders humming, 
Seven hairs of colour, 
Six cooked snags, 
Five speeding fines, 
Four chrome wheels, 
Three cars a racing, 
Two cans of Bundy, 
Ear damage from the VP. 

On the twelfth day of Christmas, 
Jason sent to me 
Twelve new events, 
Eleven new sponsors, 
Ten cleaning products, 
Nine neons flashing, 
Eight cylinders humming, 
Seven hairs of colour, 
Six cooked snags, 
Five speeding fines, 
Four chrome wheels, 
Three cars a racing, 
Two cans of Bundy, 
Ear damage from the VP! 


cheers